Comrade, once a common name, has now become a synonym for homosexuality. In the more than one year since I entered this circle, I have experienced so much. When I really experienced the taste of love, the sudden change made me panic. I know it is my fault, and it is my suspicion that made love leave me, but my tears and my calls can no longer win his heart back…
I am an ordinary college student from a county town. Although the results of the college entrance examination were far from my ideal, I still required myself to do my best. Soon, I stood out among many of my peers and became a student leader. But I was born to be playful. I started surfing the Internet in my first year of high school. Now, surfing the Internet is still a “compulsory course” for me. The Internet has changed my life and also allowed me to enter the “gay” circle.
Yu is the second friend I met. He has a family and a very cute son. He is mature, steady, and his smile is very attractive. Yu and I met last summer. We both went to the “gay chat room” on a certain website. That day, we chatted for a long time and got along very well. Later, Yu said he wanted to invite me out for dinner, and I agreed without thinking. About half an hour later, Yu came downstairs to my dormitory. The first time I saw Yu, I fell in love with him. He wore a white shirt, a pair of gold-rimmed glasses, and looked at me with a smile. Then Yu took me to dinner. At the dinner table, the two of us talked about everything like old friends, which made me deeply feel that something must happen between him and me. In the next few days, Yu asked me to drink tea every afternoon. He liked bitter tea very much. He said that drinking bitter tea was like tasting life. So we talked about life, past life experiences, and each other’s families. Yu also likes Peking Opera and history. I learned a lot from being with Yu, which made me more fascinated by him.
I still remember the first kiss with Yu: we were drinking tea and chatting that day. When we talked about our past relationships, we were both very sad. I sent Yu a message at that time, saying that I had a small request and wanted to kiss him. Yu immediately put down his phone and hugged me after reading it. That was how we had our first intimate contact.
Every morning after that, Yu would send me a message: “Good morning, my dear! I love you!” These nine short words touched my heart and made my life full of passion and hope every day. At that time, I was about to take the final exam. Yu was afraid of disturbing me, so he always sent me messages to cheer me up when I was resting. As time went by, I became more and more eager to meet Yu every day, even if I could only spend an hour together. Of course, I also fantasized about sleeping in the same bed with Yu one day!
After the last exam, we went to a coffee shop to eat Western food. During the meal, Yu suddenly took out a ring from her bag and put it on me. I was so moved that I forgot everything and just kept crying. At that moment, I was so happy and sweet. That night, we gave each other everything we had. In the days that followed, I felt what true love was like.
Perhaps sweetness is always short-lived. When I was living in the fairy tale I had woven, something that shouldn’t have happened broke everything beautiful…
A month later, Yu said he had to go to Shenzhen for a meeting because of work. I told him to be careful and send me a message to let me know he was safe. Yu said he would be back soon. But who would have thought that this would be our last memory!
After Yu left, I kept calculating the time, thinking that he should have arrived in Shenzhen by then, but I didn’t receive his message, so I called him, but couldn’t get through. Yu’s phone was turned off from morning to night, and I began to doubt whether Yu really went to Shenzhen. Did he find a reason to meet other friends? Am I the third party? After a day of thinking about it, I finally received Yu’s message at night, but at that time I had lost my mind and said some suspicious words about him. Yu explained to me, but I couldn’t listen to anything like a madman, just quarreling with him. That night I didn’t know how I put down the phone. The next day, my mind was clearer, and I regretted it very much. I told Yu that we would talk about it when he came back. But Yu changed his mind and he no longer gave me a chance. No matter how I admitted my mistakes to Yu and asked for his forgiveness, he didn’t respond. We haven’t met since then. I sent messages to Yu continuously every day, but he replied less and less. I clearly remember that the last message he replied was: “Slowly, I think we will go back to the past.”
This sentence has been supporting me, and I have been waiting. In a blink of an eye, Yu and I have been separated for more than half a year. I think about him all the time and miss him. The feeling of missing him is really painful. I really feel that my world cannot be without Yu. From the separation to now, I have always sent a fixed message every morning: “Husband, good morning! I love you!” I hope I can impress him with my true feelings. On Yu’s birthday, I want to ask Yu out for dinner. But what came out of the phone was: “The user you dialed has been shut down…”
I was so lost that I didn’t know how to contact him. I went online frantically, left messages for Yu on QQ, and went to the gay chat room where we met to look for him, but to no avail. I couldn’t forget Yu, so I often went to the chat room to chat with people and say what I wanted to say to him. Some people who knew about my experience advised me to start over, saying that I was still young and there were many people waiting for me who were worthy of my love; some people supported my idea and envied my love for Yu. However, who can really understand my deep feelings? Who can understand my longing for Yu? Who can know how I have survived the past six months?
I had to swallow the bitterness in my heart by myself. I knew that Yu had changed his phone number, but I still sent that message every morning foolishly, because I always felt that Yu cared about me and loved me. Maybe he was testing me. I remember Yu said: “Even if we only have a small house, we are happy; even if we only have a mouthful of porridge, I will give it to you!”
Yu, do you still miss me? I really miss you. I have saved every message you sent me after we broke up in my phone. You said, “We will slowly return to the past.” I will wait for you, even if it takes a lifetime, I am willing! Yu, do you still remember what I said to you? As long as the ring you gave me is there, our feelings are there. I will wear it and wait for you!
It is said that “gays” like new things and dislike old things. That is the nature of all people. It depends on how we overcome it. I believe that people who have true love will not hurt their friends. I also want to warn those gays who do not keep themselves clean that their bodies are their own, and their health is also their own. Give yourself some dignity, so that life is meaningful. At the same time, I think that feelings are fair and free to people. I believe that people’s views on people like us will change. For those who still cannot accept us, I can only hope that they will think from a different perspective and slowly accept and tolerate those who also need support in their feelings.
350955691: I think, since it has come to this, there is nothing worth waiting for. What you need to do now is to live every day happily and try to live happily without him. In fact, no one can live well without the other, so why not learn to give up now? If he really loves you, or if you are destined to be together, there will definitely be a chance to meet again.
@Sad Tears@: Beautiful things do not necessarily last forever, and your sincerity may not be reciprocated with sincerity. Let the past be the past, and people cannot always live in the past.
Ming Yueer: I think this person doesn’t really love you. If he really loves you, he won’t leave you. You’d better forget him. I believe there will be better people waiting for you. The future is still long. Host Dalin: Happiness is not about being satisfied with what you want, but about allowing this satisfaction to continue. But obviously, there was an obstacle in Azhi’s choice at the beginning, and it was destined to be unable to continue happiness. This is not because of his love orientation, but because his love exceeds the norm, that is, no matter what kind of love, it should not be at the expense of the happiness of others. Although the movie “Brokeback Mountain” repeatedly exaggerates “true love has no boundaries”, no matter what kind of love, it should be generated at the right time and on the basis of trust, otherwise, we can only see a regrettable ending. It is wise to choose the right lover, trust each other, and live happily.
True Confession
Dabao:
Maybe it is destined that we will suffer from the pain of missing each other when we are in love, but Xiaobao does not regret it at all. Everything is worth it. We should live happily every day. Xiaobao will wait for you to come back, wait for you to fulfill your promise, and wait for you to make those who do not believe in forever believe in forever.
Love you little baby
Xiaoqiang:
I don’t know when I finally understood that love doesn’t need any promises. As long as you stand in the sun, there is warmth. As long as you think of me, I will be happy. No matter how far apart we are, I will feel that you are by my side. I will cherish myself more in the days without you, and you should take care of yourself in the days without me. When can we be together and never separate? As long as you are willing, it is just a matter of time.
Love you Yu
Ma Liang:
If you were a tear in my eye, I would never cry because I don’t want to lose you!
Shanshan
Bingbing:
The reunion is short, but the separation is long. I really hope that time will stop and let us review the past. I really hope that I can still be with you and share our true feelings.
